2012 : from That Moment on I'm being Independent

1:09 AM

2012
After my sister's surgery, the life of my family went on. But it was never be the same again.
My sister kept getting physiological treatment, my mom had never been absent to carry her every where. My dad even bought a new ride for my mom, to make her move mobile. Every single of my big family members, my grandma, grandpa, aunt, uncle, cousin, every one had attention on my sister. Everything she needed everything she wanted, my family granted it.
But the more day passed, i guessed the more lonely she got, she wasn't prepared to be like this. She was an active college student, she was a member of social, nature and environment kind of club, she moved around a lot, and then she couldn't move her legs like she used to be, it must had been a whole mountain of shock, her whole life literally changed.
She threw a lot of tantrums everyday, to my mom specifically. She threw things, said things. I hated her words. I hated how she treated my lil brother. I hated how she treated my mom. I hated how my dad had to argue with her as soon as he arrived from work. I couldn't imagine how my mom endured it.
As i told before, the whole universe was focusing on her, while i limped and was confused on deciding my future. It was my last year if high school and i was planning to go to uni, and was planning to go as far as i could to escape from home. Because it was like madness everyday, i couldn't stand any screaming, things braking, loud crying. I was a coward to face that my family looked like a broken family, but i didn't realize that my family was just building itself stronger.
The attempt to escape was failed because my parents didn't allow me to go to Bandung for pursuing psychology. They said the family wasn't in a good condition, they couldn't sent me off because they couldn't leave my sister, and yet there's no relatives to guide me there. Tears running down, when all my planning wasn't approved, and it was the very first time they prohibited me to do something. I was so disappointed.
They suggested me to have a nearby school so they could watch over me. Then i chose to study architecture (and i'm dwelling in it until now). I prepared anything by myself, i even looked for boarding house by myself. I didn't how how such a little girl could do all that things without even consulting adults. From the moment on i'm being independent. Deciding everything on my own, going anywhere (sometimes) without my parents permission.

I had my escape days when i went to college, but i had to go home on weekend, so there it went the nightmare. I felt like everytime i went home i made it worse, so sometimes i decided to go back to boarding house sooner.
At that time my sister still received physiological therapy, she's still cranky, and it was passed 6 months.

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