Hard

9:05 PM

After having a month jobless, now i realize how life can be so hard. My dad is a civil servant whose salary not much, he has to pay for my tution, my life accomodation, and i'm glad i will be graduating soon. But... My brother just graduated high school, he has to get in to university, he failed more than 5 tests in various ways, he got in to private university which has high tuition payment, it's five times mine. I don't know how my parents will handle it. Yet, they still have to take care of my sister, who hasn't been able to take care of herself.
I don't know maybe this is my bad day. My brother went to the bank this morning to pay his tuition, i was asked to accompany him, but i acted like i didn't care, i wanted him to be brave to do anything by himself, to be independent, because i was too. My sister had a fight with my mother over a can of wafer, what the hell. And my dad who used to be a balancing beam had to go on business trip. And i'm useless.
I need a high salary job, maybe overseas, sure it'll be scary out there, but i have to be strong no matter what happen. There, i can practice my english too, so i don't have to pay extra for ielts course, i have a living course there. Yet, if i paid in dollar, it'll be multiplied in rupiahs.
I wanna help my dad so bad. I can take my master studies later, even though i'm given scholarship, i just wanna help my dad first, now.

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