BLESSED!!

5:00 PM

i felt overjoyed beyond anything i could ever imagine. i have parents and siblings who stand by my side, and it feels like i have the whole universe along the street calling my name celebrating my achievement on completing one checkpoint in my life, yes, i finally got my degree!!! well it's not official yet cause i haven't done graduation ceremony but technically it's only a matter of time for the paper coming out stated i got the Bachelor of Engineering. i'd been posting on my instagram about how happy i was and i'd been thankful to my friends in any kind part of student organization i'd been to, i was so grateful you came to congratulate me, i was so grateful i had ever been knowing you guys, maybe you're not taking a part on finishing my thesis but trust me the whole 4 years in architectural engineering wouldn't be that easy if i'd never met you before.
there are sooo much memories for the past 4 years that i can not tell it one by one. i was once a super tiny student with no vision whatsoever to grow like this, i set my plan to be such a good student with a good grade, studying, doing assignment, going home every week, that's my goal for the first time i stepped into college. but then i got bored hahahaha studying and doing assignment in time didn't satisfy me, so i enrolled to one kind of student organization in my faculty, BEM KMFT, Mas Yanuar Rizki Pahlevi was the leader at that time, his way of speaking which full of spirit moved some people. i was so helpless back then, not knowing what to do, feeling like not fitting there, but i stayed anyway for 2 years with not much of integrity.
BEM KMFT wasn't really 'me' until i decided to be a double agent in my department joining student organization, but this organization was more of joking everywhere, not really tense and yet i knew the people personally because all of them were architecture students. i stayed there whole heartedly until i was chosen to be the chairman in my third year, at that time i was also chosen to be a chairman candidate of PAMIY.
it was the busiest yet unstable year in my college life, i was the first woman to rule in that place so i kept on thinking whether i did it right or not, whether i was accepted or not, whether i did it better or worse, whether i was annoying or not, whether i was bossy or not, and those other thousands which came up at that time. i kept on having doubt on myself, until finally my time to lead was ended. i could take a breath for a moment but then someone came offering another position. there there there, people oversold me, they expected me way too much while i was doubtful on myself. i accepted the offer anyway, my one and only motive at that time was to help my dear friend, i didn't expect everything, i just determined to be there when he needed me. but i thought i failed this time, i bailed on him so many times and let him taking care of anything on his own. guilty? yes.
the last semester was the one and only year which i didn't join any other extras, just doing my last assignment. and that bored me to death. i had someone at that time, and i screwed it all, it just didn't work out between us. i had mental breakdown then, my second phase of my assignment was the worst, i looked down on it, the result was just so-so. i did cry after the second seminar though, knowing that i could do better. but thankfully for the last seminar everything went well, i felt so free, i was so open, i was so determined to make everything happen, happiness everyday, i was so full of it.

i'm so grateful for all the people i have ever known who always help me in my yesteryears, help me getting through anything, be a good good friend, be such a great partner, thank you thank you thank you, kissgoodbye, take care

with the truest kind of love that as much as going back to the sun and back 
your annoying loud friend, Fakhriyyah Khairunnida'

 

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