7:09 PM

it's an early evening when you decided to close your window as soon as possible. all the feelings you'd been holding on since the beginning of the day suddenly thrown in once. you don't know exactly what you're suffering of, you're just locked in those beauty notes of a decent famous pianist that fill your room's air. it came once, twice and more often since the last time you landed your tip of your fingers on one tiny technical machine well known as mobile phone. you ordered your fingers to dance on it and tapped on each button. you didn't risk anything, you completely had nothing to lose. then you finally drown in a short simple conversation with another hands out there. the last text was yours, as the sign of an end. and it always be yours as an end.

another thing came up, with a suggestion of fixing your black tiny notebook, from another person. you were poured with hoorays because it finally worked out. you knew it was also the end of conversation. why? you did always be the starter and the stopper. dang your curiosity to always want to be the first who find out a thing and curse your bad feeling for stopping what you've started. you saved your phone under your pillow and let it charged by itself.

the second you knew, you got another person's news about fighting a faith, which was very crucial topic to be talked about. but you needed to save that person, because he/she is your sibling by habit. the person you knew who had been fought along the way, who just met you in no long time, who had traveled with you anywhere. the person who fought his/her faith, the same belief as you. you knew you had a hand to help, to carry his/her up. yes, there's always a fear of the world. you stopped for a while. even you stared away from the climax of the most interesting book you'd been reading. and now, you're stucked with writing.

still, the neat melody as a backsong. bring back all what you'd been holding back. frame by frame tracked down. the song that used to be your school's bell few years ago, you missed it, so much. when you counted down the second before the bell rang, you were miss counting down. hahahahaha, where are you miss independent? miss so innocently always happy? why did you let those people rip your joy? why did you plant the frown all by yourself?
you're a coward

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