You know that feeling? When you’re just waiting. Waiting to get home, into your room, close the door, fall into bed, and just let everything out that you kept in all day. That feeling of both relief and desperation. Nothing is wrong. But nothing is right either. And you’re tired. Tired of everything, tired of nothing. And you just want someone to be there and tell you it’s okay. But no one’s going to be there. And you know you have to be strong for yourself, because no one can fix you. But you’re tired of waiting. Tired of having to be the one to fix yourself and everyone else. Tired of being strong. And for once, you just want it to be easy. To be simple. To be helped. To be saved. But you know you won’t be. But you’re still hoping. And you’re still wishing. And you’re still staying strong and fighting, with tears in your eyes. You’re fighting.
today i had a biology class, and my teacher asked us to have an experiments about growth, i had to slice a seed and examined the seed with magnifier, then i had to draw what i saw on report book, it was so much fun, my teacher is sooo kind, she let us to play with the magnifier, even more she laughed when i wrote my friends' name on seeds.
it was last wednesday, the d-day we decided to have breaking fasting at Pram's house.
before i went there, i had to take chemist course, and i was soooooo excited at that time i kept my positive energy inside my head, just in case my mood would swing around freely.
maybe part of them (my classmates) worried about what to wear how they looked like, but me a big fat no no, i took simple randomly outfit 'cause you know what, to be ordinary among the extraordinaries is superordinary.
i rode my motorcycle with Ade, it was beautiful dusk. when i arrived at pram's, my friends already played poker WITHOUT meee. then i grabbed another pack of cards and asked Iput, Arden, Ade, Nita to join me.
when adzan was heard, we went to the food lounge without any command. then we did sholat, and had a BBQ party, watched Super 8, danced around together, sang together, everything. we had so much fun.
- when i'm stucked in a silence, i will always be trapped in the past memory, guilty feeling that can not be hid all the time. sometimes it comes up with no command, all by itself.
- you see my laugh? it's not fake, it's my expectation to be like that as always.
- i can say i have no care to everyone special anymore, people are the same in my eyes. i told every single secret that i have and i don't know why i really trust them. i don't really care either if they reveal it to whoever else.
- 'always happy' theory that is told by my teacher, for me, in my opinion, doesn't work. you will not be happy if you never felt how sad your life is.
- i just realized i can adapt easily with no matter what circumstances lately.
- TEEN CHOICE AWARDS 2011 WAS A BLAST, i love T-Swift sooo much, i hate Selena Gomez. she's not a good friend, she has fun only with her boyf when Demi sat alone on another far away seat. in my real life, i play Demi.
- I RULE MY LIFE
- i'm a rock, but i'm also a jelly, it's yummy :d
we had an expression class today, it was so much fun, playing drama whole season
to be continued .....
i made this post BECAUSE:
i made a project with my friend, and it's theme is friendship. it's a kind of slideshow of photos, and we needed backsong, so i surfed the google to look for friendship song. all that i'd got was .... yeah a lot of friendship songs but it's.... 20 years ago -____-. so here are my friendship song recommendation:
1. Hannah Montana - True Friend
2. Hannah Montana - Right Here
3. Demi Lovato - Gift Of A Friend
4. Ashley Tisdale - We'll be Together
5. Spice Girls - Friendship Never Ends
6. Taylor Swift - Fifteen
7. Demi Lovato & Selena Gomez - One and The Same
8. Avril Lavigne - Keep Holding On
9. Mocca (indonesian) - Friend
10. OST Camp Rock 2 - This Is Our Song
11. Hannah Montana - Wherever I Go
12. Haley Orrantia - The Magic Of a Friend
13. Taylor Swift - I'm Only Me When I'm With You
i haven't posted anything good yet lately, because of the combination of lazy and busy. by the way, now i have stepped on 3rd grade, it's time of full dizziness, this year every single 3rd graders will be pressed to decide their own future. it's kinda scary but just go with it. i have decided my future too, but i'm still not sure where i'm gonna take it in what university. oh in this last year my school has a brand new uniform, it's batik you know, batik is our traditional cloth.
i have to attend extra study hours too, join course, do not sleep in the class, and try to appreciate all of my friends, once again this is our last year, guys. and all the teachers were so cruel this week, we got A LOT OF homework and reports, don't you think we have 3 brains, huh? #ignore. here are some photos where i take course.
i'm happy i've figured out something, i'm happy i've found myself not the guilt one
thanks VDE, IB, ALR, ADK, DRP, RPH, who had patiently listened to my grumbble
oh i almost forgot, Welcome Ramadhan the holy month of moslems, a month to go before The Great Winning Day Idul Fithri
to be honest i didn't really like this song when i heard it the first time by Beyonce, i downloaded the music video but i just said like 'yeah, okay', but then this siblings showed me awesome side of this song, now i think it's a brilliant song ;)